Thursday, 30 June 2016

And they called it 'snail' love

I have been back at work for 2 weeks now and it is getting slightly easier for me and the boys. My first week was awful, hearing tears as I walked out the door but were all getting used to it now. Mr B is still young enough to not really care whether I’m at work or sat behind him, however, Mr S is old enough to scream blue murder if he sees me put my coat on, let alone walk out of the door without him. I know it’s hard now, I also know it will be worth it in the long run when I can provide for my boys and give them the life I want for them. 

Part of my first week back was attending a first aid course. I’ve attended one before but it felt a lot more important this time. Something about being a parent makes you realise how precious life is and how quickly accidents can happen. I wanted to make sure I walked away from that course confident that I could provide first aid to my babies and my loved ones should the need arise.

 Just before Christmas Mr S was throwing a tantrum while I was washing the pots. I will never forget what happened next as I literally still have nightmares about it. His tears suddenly changed to high pitched gagging noises, I turned around to see why. The edges of his lips were already turning blue. I ran across the kitchen to him and as I reached out he went limp and banged his head on the table. I picked him up and unsure of myself slapped his back limply while screaming for hubby.

Hubby came downstairs faster than I ever seen him move in his life, (seriously, I don’t think he would even move that quick for donuts and beer), he grabbed Mr S away from me and slapped his back 5 times, suddenly he started crying and the colour came back in his face, (however mine still looked like Casper), I grabbed him and held him so close he was probably at risk of choking again. This moment probably lasted minutes if not seconds, yet to me it was hours, some of the worst ‘hours’ of my life.

Hubby told me afterwards that when he heard me shout his name he knew something was seriously wrong. He also admitted that when he ran into the kitchen and saw Mr S’s limp body and pale blue tinged face he thought he was too late and in that split second thought the worst. I hate to even think about if the worst had happened, nonetheless the fact remains the same, I just didn’t know what to do.

Thankfully the first aid course I attended was very engaging and hands on and I really feel that I absorbed every drop of knowledge available. The guy running it, Kevin, was very passionate about what he was doing and you could see that. His passion and extremely vast knowledge made it even easier to not only learn what to do, but to learn why it is so important. Thank you so much Kevin Chugg. Here is the link for the company who's course I attended.    KC TRAINING SERVICES LTD

If you are able to attend a first aid course, please do. Hopefully you will never have to use your skills, but it is much better to have them, especially if your children are like mine and think everything they find on the floor is free candy, or that every dangerous item in the house is a new toy.I will also be stocking up my family first aid kit. When I got home I checked if we had what we needed, our first aid box consisted of; 1 x half sheet of paracetamol, 1 x sanitary towel, 1 large plaster, an out of date throat spray, a kinder egg toy and a baby sock. I think I need to go shopping.

In other news, I was helping my mum do a little bit of gardening today as she wants to get it nice before summer. I know what you’re thinking, I thought the same. We live in Manchester woman, Summer has well and truly been and gone. While she was moving around some soil she managed to put her spade straight through a snail, who unfortunately is now having lunch with Elvis. I named the severed snail Marjorie and spent the next 5 minutes making Marjorie’s killer, (my mum), very guilty for what she had done. Moments later a second snail, Simon, appeared. He was slugging around the soil urgently, in my opinion looking for his wife Marjorie.

 My mum literally wouldn’t harm a fly, (she once told the person house sitting for her not to hoover up a cob web in the window as she had bonded with the spider), and was consequently so upset by my joke she had to walk away. I later told her that Simon was so upset I found him impaled on a piece of Marjorie’s shell, Romeo and Snailiete style. I don’t think she will be gardening for a while.

Good day to you. xx

Linked in to

The Pramshed

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

A picture tells 1000 lies

One of my favourite things to do is sit and look through photographs. My mum has literally thousands of me and my sister as kids smiling and having the perfect bond in every shot, and why would she not, we were great siblings. We loved each other all the time, never fought and she definitely never locked me in a shed on my own while she had fun with her friends.

 I only print the ones where everyone is looking forward, smiling, red eye free and perfect. Why would I waste my money on putting our rubbish moments into the album? When I put together my wedding album I chose all the pics where our skin was perfect and I looked thin(ish). I wasn’t going to include the ones where I was in the background looking like princess Fiona.

I scroll through twitter, Instagram and Facebook and see perfect picture upon perfect picture. No one posts to the world a snap shot of their kids fighting, piles of laundry and mess, or their real morning hair. This got me to thinking about the saying ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’, maybe the saying should be ‘a picture tells a thousand lies’.

I posted this one to Instagram to show the world I was having a nice cup of tea and writing Mr B’s pretty christening invitations. Lovely morning activity. You will see however that they are lay on a mattress with no sheet. Just before I commenced this activity Mr S pulled off his nappy stood on my bed and pissed. I spent the next 20 minutes cleaning up and stripping the bed. I decided that I didn’t need to mention this on my post. 

 Aww how cute, my new-born and my toddler. Look how they are lay so happily together they clearly love each other. This was a perfect shot of how they lie all the time so I posted it to Facebook to show the world how wonderful my boys are. I couldn't even type that with a straight face...... this was 5 seconds before. 


Mr B was less than a week old here and looks so comfy and sweet wrapped up in his monkey towel. I just had to snap a picture of my baby boy after his 1st bath at home. I snapped the shot, my heart melted a little at how adorable this moment was, I opened the towel and there was shit everywhere. Not just any old poo, complete and utter liquid ass. Which on a side note Mr S ran over and touched.

To anyone else this is a simple picture of a gran hugging her grandson while eating in a café. This was actually the day my mum was going to see a specialist as the GP suspected she could have cancer. If you look closely you can see her eyes are tired and even though she is smiling I think she looks sad. We were in a café, but that was my idea to kill time as her appointment was early evening and that day was a bloody long day for me so I can’t imagine how it felt for her.

Look at the happy couple they look so fresh ad ready to start life. At the point of this pic I was really getting worried about hubby. He was shaking, sweating and drinking a lot of water. I was thinking he must be ill as when I spoke to him at 10pm the night before the wedding he told me he was off to bed to finalise his speech and be ready for the wedding. I later found out he was up till around 4am, was so drunk he left his hotel door wide open and wrote his speech on the morning of the wedding.

I love this picture as we look so happy and in love. It is a prime example of a photograph lie. This is at a wedding. I was pregnant, it was hot and I had my hormonal bitch pants on. We argued the whole time we were getting ready mainly because I thought my bump looked too fat, fell out on the way there as hubby missed a turn off and extended our journey by 5 mins, which for how angry I got may as well have been 5 hours. As soon as we got out of the car everyone was there so I painted on a smile and acted like a picture perfect family should. When we were told to kiss for the picture, I puckered up and kissed him, even though at the time I would rather of belly bounced him down a ditch.

Look at that little cutie all clean and ready for bed, what you don’t see is that Mr B had a lot of problems with milk when he was new-born and used to throw up quite a lot. I took this picture and while sending it to my mum seconds later, I heard a massive burp and Mr B projectile vomited up his full bottle. It was like in movies when you see a fire hydrant explode and fluid goes miles into the air. The bed was stripped, Mr B was stripped, even we had to get changed.

Behind every smile there may be a tear, behind every kiss their may be an argument, but most of all behind every towel there may be a shit. So next time you are looking through someones social media or photo albums and having a pang of envy. 'how do they have such a perfect life'. Remember my words  'a picture tells 1000 lies'.

New Mummy BlogGood day to you.
p.s -  please feel free to send me your 1000 lie pics x